"Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth is proof that a funny book on pop culture
doesn't have to be snide and nasty. I loved everything about it." — Jim Gaffigan

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Dear Luke, We Need To Talk, Darth by John Moe

Read an excerpt: Concerning Jon Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead or Alive

Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth
by John Moe

When I was about 14, I heard James Taylor singing “You’ve Got a Friend” on the radio. In the chorus, he says if you just call out his name, he’ll come running to see you again. I remember laughing out loud at the idea of that literally happening, that I could yell “James Taylor” and the guy would drop everything to sprint, across the country if necessary, to be by my side. How easy to waste James Taylor’s time and energy.

Anyway, I kept these thought exercises in my head well into adulthood until it finally occurred to me to start writing them down. Eventually, letters about Taylor, Guns n’ Roses, Billy Joel, Elton John and more started showing up on websites and, in performance mode, on Wits, the show I host today. This book takes the concept even further, expanding out to TV, film, comics and many other parts of pop culture. I hope you enjoy the book and are not too psychologically damaged by the Fonzie part.

John Moe

Purchase an autographed first edition of John Moe's new book

From the Publisher:
We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth, John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, emails, text messages and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see.

From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top-secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive — and much more.

Like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth offers a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

Other Pop Song Correspondences, as heard on Wits

A Note from the Contractor Working on Robert Plant’s Home Remodeling Project

Notes on "Sweet Child O Mine," As Delivered to Axl Rose by his Editor

Early Praise
"John Moe has been making me laugh for 1,249 years (we are both immortal), and Dear Luke is, not surprisingly, EXTREMELY FUNNY. I expect him to entertain us all for another 1,249, unless I am able to hunt him down and cut off his head before then, because there can be only one." — John Hodgman

Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth ranks among the finest collections of nonsense ever assembled. For those seeking hilarity in short bursts of pop culture inanity, this book is for you.” — Michael Ian Black

"This book of brilliant parodies, riffs and flights of pop culture fantasy shows why John Moe has so quickly risen to become the second funniest man in public radio."
Peter Sagal, host, NPR's Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

"This book made me laugh while learning, which is the best kind of funny. Knowledge that comes from a laugh is so much better than coughing that comes from a laugh."
Margaret Cho

About Wits:
Wits is a live public radio show that brings world-class comedians, actors and musicians to the stage where host John Moe gives them and the audience the time of their lives. Wits mixes improv, sketch comedy, conversation, music and genuine beauty in a program praised as “one of the rare public radio comedy shows that’s actually funny” (Huffington Post) and “on course to become a national hit” (USA Today). One of the signature elements of the weekly live radio program is a feature called Pop Song Correspondences. In total, John has performed about 13 of the ‘Pop Songs” on Wits. For more information about Wits, visit www.witsradio.org



Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth by John Moe (Autographed First Edition)

An autographed first edition of John Moe's new book, Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth.


Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth by John Moe (Unsigned)

An unsigned copy of John Moe's new book, Dear Luke, We Need To Talk. Darth.


Wits T-Shirt

Cartoonist Adam Koford (@apelad) designed this T-shirt just for Wits. You might know him from his appearances on Boing Boing TV or his book The Laugh-Out-Loud Cats Sell Out. He also drew all 700 hoboes from John Hodgman's book The Areas of My Expertise.


Animal Furnace by Hannibal Buress

Hannibal Buress is a stand-up star on the rise. Hannibal's a Chicago native, currently living in New York City where he regularly performs and eats lots of street food. It's delicious. His credits include writing for Saturday Night Live and performing on every late show that matters. Hannibal has a truly unique voice in comedy.


Laboring Under Delusions by Paul F. Tompkins

When it comes to odd jobs, Paul F. Tompkins has experienced them all, stand-up comedian included. In this extended and uncensored stand-up special, Paul (supported by his impressive mustache) takes us on a hilarious tour of his varied career. Relive his glory days as an employee at a Beta-only video store, a hot shop salesman catering to tourists looking for “king hats,” an actor with an improbable cameo in an epic film and an anxious host on Best Week Ever.


Very Famous by Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black may be joking, but he is indeed getting very famous. A stand-up comedian, actor and writer, Michael is known for his character Phil on the hit TV show, ED, as a member of the cult comedy legends Stella, on VH1's clip series and in numerous other projects (including the legendary comedy troupe The State and his breakout podcast Mike and Tom Eat Snacks).


My Weakness Is Strong by Patton Oswalt

My Weakness Is Strong is the third comedy album by Patton Oswalt, a comedian who has appeared on Wits several times. Patton provided the voice for Remy, the rat, in Pixar's Oscar-winning Ratatouille. He's also appeared in more than 20 films, including Magnolia, The Informant!, Starsky and Hutch and Reno 911!: Miami. On TV, he played Spence on The King of Queens on CBS for nine seasons, as well as appearing on Seinfeld, Reaper, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job!


A Dotted Line by Sara Watkins & Nickel Creek

Sara Watkins was eight when she started performing with the Grammy Award–winning bluegrass-folk trio Nickel Creek as a fiddle player and singer. Now 20 years later, the group has released new music.


I Heart Jokes: Paula Tells Them in Boston

Enjoy this wonderful night of standup comedy that has nothing to do with Boston at all! Poundstone finds enough hilarity in trying to make sense of the world to leave your jaws aching with laughter. She is well known for her lightning fast comedic "interviews" with members of the crowd, and on this night she struck it rich. If you've never heard Paula's wry, witty, sideways comedy before, you're in for a treat. If you are already a fan, you'll find this recording has her at her best. Don't miss this tour de force performance by a comedic genius. Recorded at Boston's historic Wilbur Theater. Written and performed by Paula Poundstone.

Of Interest to Public Radio Fans

The Siren’s Song by Maria Jette & Dan Chouinard

NPR will cease production of the show Tell Me More on August 1st. Avid readers of Public Radio Market — our weekly newsletter dedicated to presenting the best interviews and features from around the public radio dial — already know that Tell Me More presents thoughtful, insightful and informative interviews designed to tell a person more about the world we live in.

One of the nice features about the recently redesigned Public Radio Market website is that you can search/sort features by program. For some wonderful reporting, I suggest you check out the section dedicated to Tell Me More. Spend time listening to the in-depth reporting and if you so choose, purchase the item or items related to the interview.

As always, sign up for our Facebook fanpage to keep up with all the news!

David Edin
Merchandise Manager

Think Like A Freak